Recent Changes

Old Man Heirwick By Kevin Smith
at Erin's house, arehouse! Are you guys for anything! you'dYou'd have to number of years,years and spent
"Well, I take it that you aren't going, Derek?" Mark questioned, a bit of sarcasm hinting in his voice, but he knew the real reason why Derek didn't want to go, so he didn't mean to say too much.
"No, I've got better things to do than go to a party for a few hours. I'll just have to ride my bike back home close to midnight or after. It wouldn't suit well with my mother."
"Yeah, that makes sense, your mom really is strict these days. Hey, who's that out in the park?" Carl asked, peeking his head out of the window to get a better view.
the street over?"over there on the right?" Mark asked,
"Definitely, who else would it be?" Carl said, sure of his decision, but asking if he was right only because he didn't know the man's name.
late at night."night," Derek said.
"Well, we ought to get going to the party, right Carl?"
long, but me and Mark and I gotta book want to gogo, Derek?"
"It's worry about me, gome. Go to the and have fun,fun. I'll see
Carl and markMark quickly left couldn't see them,them and turned park at night, ofnight. Of course Derek what Derek though.thought. When he old man hadwas long gone, his shirt on,on and turned
"Be careful of what your children are doing out at night, parents - Two teens were found dead on Aster Street this morning, they have been identified as Mark Taylor and Carl Dobson, two juniors at the Glensdale High School. Taylor and Dobson were riding their bikes when they were pushed off of their bikes and stabbed numerous times in their backs and sides. Police are still investigating the apparent murders, and we'll have more to report about this later tonight."
hugged him tightly, throughtightly. Through a string stay home today,today and not the old man,man and decided an old personsperson's home, but all he knew,knew and just hurry.
"You," Hehe said in a dreary tone, hetone. He hadn't gotten
"You...you saw me?"
"Well"Well, of course I did, alldid. All you are the street and,and every time look at me,me: it's annoying!"
"We-Were you at the park last night? Were you?!"
"What are you, my parole officer? Bah! I was in my home if you must know, now why are you stalking me, get outta here, filthy local!"
Derek took what Heirwick had to say and got away as fast as he could. He seemed angry by the fact that Derek was snooping around, which only gave him more suspicion. He would just have to return tomorrow and hope that Heirwick didn't see him this time. The next day rolled around, and Derek's mom gave him a kiss goodbye, and left for work on time. He soon after got a call from one of his friends at the school asking if he had known anything about the murders. Derek couldn't tell who was asking him, so he just hung up the phone. If he gave out any information without knowing who he was talking to, he might get in trouble. Derek got back on his bike and rode back to the Heirwick household. This time, however, he wasn't stopped by Heirwick at all. After six runs, he went home, and would try again tomorrow.
The next day started the same, only a different person called, but he still hung up on them. He rode over to Heirwick's house, but as he rode by the first time, he heard the door slam, and Heirwick beckoning him over.
come inside then, it'sthen. It's annoying to wasn't from America,America; he had a slight hunched over look,hunched-over look and very
"You don't like Michigan, do you?"
"Hell"Hell, no! I
"Why do you hate it here, where would you rather be?"
"I want to go back home, to England, but that's not possible at the moment.
"I-I can't leave, you're keeping someone hostage!" Derek ran up the stairs in a hurry, but Heirwick grasped Derek's coat and pulled him to the ground. Heirwick then ran up the stairs in a hurry, leaving Derek there on the ground. As Derek began to stand up, he heard a call from upstairs.
"Don't make me call the cops for a tresspassin' kid, kid! Get out of my house!"
of that house, hehouse. He stood ujpup and was to run froto the upstairs sidewalk and face plantingface-planting the pavement. the two boy'sboys' encounter before their death,death or about by threatening the calling ofto call the police a car whothat hadn't braked
Looking out of his window, Derek saw the same old man walking about the park, only this time there was something different about him. He looked much the same as he did the time before on that one night, but he knew it wasn't Heirwick walking around the streets if he was a suspect of murder, it was some other old man awkwardly walking around a park in the middle of the night. Derek decided to check it out, so he snuck out of the house and went over to the man standing there. Derek clearly saw that the old man had been standing there for a while, watching Derek's house with a clear view of Derek's bedroom window.
forward towards the him. "G-Get called the police,police and told Derek's claims gtoto be wrong, due to HeirwicksHeirwick's confession to Derek through weepsweeping and tears final words werewere, "I've got enough money now,Inow, I can finally Erin lived onin very well. from the window,window and never seen again.
Interesting - is there a relative living upstairs who commits all the murders? If so, why? What does he mean that he has all the money to return now? Why did he stop going to school and become a detective?

Jumble Story
As it walked through the mall, there was no sound. At this time of night, no one was in the mall except for the creature of the dark, and the security guard carefully following it. Soon, the creature busted open one of the cage walls protecting the store, and the guard thought it was the perfect time to stop this hooligan. Pulling out his pistol, the guard shot towards the creature, but missed. The creature turned toward the guard, revealing large yellow eyes and light blue skin. As the alien screeched, the yellow orbs glowed, illuminating the entire mall, and the guard fell to his knees. He couldn't get up, he couldn't move, all he knew was that he couldn't stop whatever it was in front of the store, and that if he would just give up now, he might survive. The force overwhelming his body was lifted as the alien looked away from him and walked into the store. When the alien emerged from the store several minutes later, the guard was still there, looking at the ground, hoping that the alien would not come near him. His prayers were never answered as the alien crept slowly over to the seemingly lifeless body of the security guard. The yellow eyes looked down upon the man with no emotion, and glowed once again, lifting the man's body with his mind, to get a better look at him. Soon, the eyes glowed a different color, a more greenish shade, and it's body began to morph into that of the security guards, becoming a doppelganger of the human. Throwing the security guard's body into a nearby wall, the alien then pulled out a ray guy and vaporized the human, taking his place in the world.
MEOW

1. Misinterpretation of dialogue
2. Stronger focus on father
3. Twist ending
4. "Never Give Up"
5. Separated into parts
6. Did not follow a strait timeline
7. Main character is portrayed as lonely
8. Sport drives story, connects to father
9. Characters share problems with addiction
10. Well Rounded character (All sides shown)

My issues
(A note before we begin, please do not share this with the class. I wish not to even write about this, but I have to, and if you must read it then fine, but no other eyes is my only request.)
I've struggled with anxiety and paranoia for the past four or five years. It's not something I talk about, I keep it to myself and I've done fine as masking it for since it has ever started. As the years went on, however, it progressively got worse, and up until a few days ago, no one ever knew. I was simply Kevin, the kid who just wanted to help other people and didn't really have any problems of his own. I never told anyone, especially my parents, because I could handle it on my own, and that's all that ever mattered to me, being able to handle it on my own. I decided a long time ago that if it ever got to the point where I was physically unable to hold off from expressing it out, I would ask for help, and that day came as few days ago.
I regret not telling my parents about any of it when it started, but that is mostly to blame on me not even knowing that I was suffering from anxiety or paranoia at all. Had I known when it started, and had I told my parents, maybe I wouldn't be in the condition that I am today, currently shunning away friends and especially family in fear that if they know what I hide then I'll be outcast-ed or shunned. The worse thing I've ever known to feel is pity, and that is the one reason why I never told my parents once I found out. I completely dislike being pitied, or for people to feel bad for me. I don't want that. I can guess that all I've ever wanted was someone to offer help to me. I never would want any help, but the thought of someone wanting to help me would help me in it's own right.
I regret not being closer to my mother or father, I always kept a safe distance away from them socially, although I love them and I know they are always there for me, I always had my fears and suspicious, and watch what I say around them in fear of them taking it a wrong way. I keep going back in my head to a day where I was feeling really down, and I knew why, and my mom knew that I was down but she didn't know why I was. All she wanted to do was help me, and I shouted at her, telling her that I was fine and that she needed to stop butting into my life when I didn't want her there. Even writing these words hurts my heart because when I finished shouting at her, and when I finally calmed down after that outbreak, I couldn't move with how sickened I was with myself, that I would ever say such a thing to my own mother. Perhaps it is because of that day I try to keep a safe distance from others socially, so that they don't see when I'm in a bad mood, so that I don't shout at them for trying to invade my life, and feel like I did back then, again.
I've always regretted not telling my parents anything about what has gone on in my life, but I still refuse to talk to them about it. I know that they would support me, that they would do whatever they could to help me fix my endless anguish, but I cannot bring myself to face my parents and tell them that I need medication, that I need a therapist, that I need help! I've only ever wanted people to want to help me, for people to simply feel compelled to help me because they cared about me, and not because they pity me or feel sorry for me. Any help offered, I always deny, because I still want to handle it on my own, but I know that there are those with me that I can turn to for anything I need, and they know that when I am in need of help I will come to them. Sadly, my parents aren't any of the people I can go to, and my main regret is that it's my fault they can't be those people. When I am off to college, and I wont be living with them anymore, I'm not sure how I will be able to handle the lack of constant "Are you Okay?" from my mother, or the constant badgering from my father to do chores or feed the cat. My only hope is that one day I will be able to tell them, whether it be ten, to twenty, to thirty years from now. I hope that I can let them know before we truly cannot see each other again.

Old Man Heirwick By Kevin Smith
"There is a party tonight at Erin's house, are you guys going?" Mark said to his two friends as they sat in Derek's bedroom. They had been hanging out for a few hours to just relax after school before the party.
"Yeah, totally! I wouldn't miss that party for anything! you'd have to kill me to stop the Carl party train! Woo woo!" Carl exclaimed, despite his confidence Mark began to hysterically laugh at Carl.

In order of appearance: Kevin, Zac, Hannah, Lisa, and Maggie.
{file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/GHS/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.jpg} http://su2.info/gallery/photos/nature/winter2.jpg
We had a home in the plains
I wonder where it is today
We haven't been there in a
hope we go back there sometime soon
The life of the summer was out there
A party almost every night
My family, my friends, their families, their friends
I hope we go back there sometime soon
It's been years now
We don't go back there anymore
I asked my parents what's so wrong with going back
And all they did was cry
More years pass, I'm on my own now
I still think of that house in the plains
And all of those parties of course
So I look up the directions I'm on my way there now
It's been three days
I'm still looking for it
It's winter now
I can't imagine such a dreary setting
for the best place in the whole world
I found it at last
But I'm saddened by what I see
A dead tree out front
And what looks like a shack
It looked bigger all those years ago.
I walk inside, everything covered in sheets and dust
I start to get a headache But I shake it off
And go upstairs
On the bed I see a newspaper
"Kidnapped boy rescued just in time"
states the headline
It's dated back eighteen years
I'm almost twenty three now
I wake up in a daze
flashing blues and reds on the ceiling
Lots of shouting
I feel tears running down my eyes
I wake up again
I'm in a hospital
Passerby's saw my car in the driveway of that shack
They went to check it out
And found me unconscious
My parents beside me
They tell me the story
I was kidnapped as a child
And I was held in that place
That I had been dreaming of
All these years.
It's so cold outside, around 10 to 20 degrees. It's just me and the snow, the kind of peace im already accustomed to.
I am on a hunt, going to try to shoot a deer. I've been out here for around 5 hours now, probably going to pack it in soon.
I saw one, far off in the distance. I tried a shot, but the shot was too far, he was running too fast for me to keep up.
It was a really nice buck too, hopefully I'll find one soon.
Wait...I see one, a nice one. I gotta go, wish me luck. Hopefully I'll come back with a nice kill.
It's a different scene
When there’s no white cover
Abandoned,
broken,
dead.
You can hear the creek of the old wood from the barn
the slightest blow of the wind is relentless.
Depressing.
The tree branches hang like they were never
Never alive, always dead.
They just dangle there
Lifeless.
Standing alone,
forgotten by the snow,
an abandoned barn holds host
to memories of shelter and warmth
and the laughter of children.
Invisible from the road,
forgotten by the snow,
It holds itself through
the test of time
and it remembers the days of
laughing children.
Sturdy and secure,
forgotten by the snow,
the barn waits for the day
when someone will rediscover it’s glory,
and the barn will hear the laughter of children once again.
Abandoned and quiet,
forgotten by the snow,
the barn becomes a haven,
the day has finally come
for it to once again hear the laughter of children.
An Open Letter to Winter Dearest Winter,
Seriously?
Snow?
Look at my house
Do you think I have Central Air?
I live in the middle of nowhere
It hasn't snowed here in fifteen years
Why would you snow now?
Do you just have it out for me?
I don't have any neighbors to bum heat off of
You just want me to freeze, is that right?
Well guess what winter?
That's what airplanes are for!
I'm moving to Italy
Have fun crapping on other people
Because I'm never going to deal with you again
Sincerely,
A country cottage resident
With more money than they let on

"Be careful of what your children are doing out at night, parents - Two teens were found dead on Aster Street this morning, they have been identified as Mark Taylor and Carl Dobson, two juniors at the Glensdale High School. Taylor and Dobson were riding their bikes when they were pushed off of their bikes and stabbed numerous times in their backs and sides. Police are still investigating the apparent murders, and we'll have more to report about this later tonight."
Soon after, Derek's mom rushed into his room and hugged him tightly, through a string of sobs and cries, Derek managed to hear that she wanted him to stay home today, and not go to school. He really didn't have a problem with it at all, but he did feel like all he was going to do was mope around all day. That's when Derek remembered the old man, and decided that when his mom left for work, he would venture to the next street over and see what the Heirwick household looked like after the night before.
leave and nonot return for
"You," He said in a dreary tone, he hadn't gotten much sleep last night it seemed, but Derek could only guess from the dark circles under Heirwick's eyes. "Why are you riding by my house every few minutes? Can't you leave an old man in peace?"
"You...you saw me?"

"Be careful of what your children are doing out at night, parents - Two teens were found dead on Aster Street this morning, they have been identified as Mark Taylor and Carl Dobson, two juniors at the Glensdale High School. Taylor and Dobson were riding their bikes when they were pushed off of their bikes and stabbed numerous times in their backs and sides. Police are still investigating the apparent murders, and we'll have more to report about this later tonight."
Soon after, Derek's mom rushed into his room and hugged him tightly, through a string of sobs and cries, Derek managed to hear that she wanted him to stay home today, and not go to school. He really didn't have a problem with it at all, but he did feel like all he was going to do was mope around all day. That's when Derek remembered the old man, and decided that when his mom left for work, he would venture to the next street over and see what the Heirwick household looked like after the night before.
out of ishis window at
"You," He said in a dreary tone, he hadn't gotten much sleep last night it seemed, but Derek could only guess from the dark circles under Heirwick's eyes. "Why are you riding by my house every few minutes? Can't you leave an old man in peace?"
"You...you saw me?"

at Erin's house tonight,house, are you
"Yeah, totally! I wouldn't miss that party for anything! you'd have to kill me to stop the Carl party train! Woo woo!" Carl exclaimed, despite his confidence Mark began to hysterically laugh at Carl.
"You guys are idiots." Derek said, looking out of his window and seeing someone in the park. He had lived there for a number of years, and spent most of his time just looking out of his window and watching the people walking about the park. Night time watching was even more fun, however, because strange characters would always be out at night. Derek began to recall a time he saw a group of people dressed up as chickens just running around in the park. He guessed it was a bunch of college kids just having some fun, but when they began running around the area closer to his house, Derek became scared, shut the window and shut off his lights and went to bed.