Imprisonment or Freedom? Coming across the split path, Ashley feels nervous as she begins to scratch the back of her head covered by slightly messy brown hair. Looking over her shoulder, Ashley ponders over the thought of going back the way she came. Shaking the jitters off, the girl decided to give up on the idea of returning to that hell hole of a home town. 'Why go back to a place where the people would rather you dead than stay in town?' She thought to herself. Looking back at the diverged paths, Ashley notices a signpost on the connection point between the two paths. On the arrow pointing down the right path, the sign said "Imprisonment" whereas the path that went to the left had a sign that said "Freedom."
Annoyed with such an important decision, Ashley sat down in front of the sign and closed her emerald green eyes. She could hear the leaves rustle in the wind, she could hear the flow of grass, she could smell the scent of the flowers, and feel the cool autumn breeze touch her face gently. Although for once in her life, Ashley was at peace with herself, but she corrupted her mind once more. The thought of home rushed back into her, the missing hole in her senses, the missing taste of hier mother's famous pie before she had passed away. Remembering her mother, and their happy memories together, made her understand the point of the two paths in front of her. Ashley was not faced with the decision of simply leaving her hometown and picking either the right or the left path which signs had made no sense before, Ashley was faced with the choice to move on from her mother's demise all those years ago.
Ashley stood up and looked towards the sky, a deep orange was soon dissolving to a pink/purple shade, and the setting sun rested behind the leaves of the path titled "Freedom." She knew what she was to do, and began to walk down the path of freedom, her tear drops tracing her path in the dirt beneath her as she walked. Ashley soon came across a second fork in the road, one path much smaller than the main path, with a sign marked "DO NOT ENTER" on the gate. A small laugh emerged form the tears as Ashley tore the sign down, removed the fence completely, and walked up the path to a hill overlooking the ocean on the other side, which is where the other path would have lead her, the dead end which would symbolize the fact that her life was going nowhere, and that Ashley would have to turn back home. At least, that's what Ashley thought. She walked up to the lone tree on the hill and looked around the base of the trunk until she found the marking "R.I.P. Mother" carved into the tree. Pulling a knife from her pocket, she scratched out all of the letters and words that she put into the tree many years ago, almost screaming through the tears endlessly flowing from her eyes. Ashley gasped for air as she pulled a match from her pocket, lit it, and began to set various leaves and branches on the tree, on fire. "I'm sorry mother..." Ashley said with her remaining breaths, again gasping for air as she hoped she could set the whole tree on fire before she had to leave, but being in this place was too much for her. Ashley walked back down the path, and continued down the path of freedom, never looking back.
The last paragraph is so good, i really like the way you made the one path a dead end and related the path to life.I made the one line in bold because i didn't really understand it, so just look it over, otherwise i really liked it!
- Mikayla
i agree with mikayla when she said your last paragraph is very strong, i like how the character returns back to the tree:) alexis cortese
your last paragraph is so strong! i love it, it shows him growing up and making choices for himself now. its a great story line, good job. love the imagery - jenna lamparski
I thought that this was a really great story. It wasn't cliched. He didn't go down the path and find freedom. Good job.- Hannah Morier
I like how he creates his own future he thinks about what he wants and then chooses his own future as soon as he choose a path he knew what he was going to do -Nick McDonnell
-I love this story, its really deep and I can relate to it. It definitely made me picture what he was seeing and feel what he was feeling! -Kelsey Evans
- I like it. I like it a lot. I think that Mikayla's bolded text made perfect sense...it's a thought. If anything, just put it into italics. If you wanted to explain why people didn't like him, maybe it would clear up other peoples' confusion. Besides that, fabulous job. -Maggie
- I love this story. Its interesting and compelling and I loved the development. -Lisa Trova
Coming across the split path, Ashley feels nervous as she begins to scratch the back of her head covered by slightly messy brown hair. Looking over her shoulder, Ashley ponders over the thought of going back the way she came. Shaking the jitters off, the girl decided to give up on the idea of returning to that hell hole of a home town. 'Why go back to a place where the people would rather you dead than stay in town?' She thought to herself. Looking back at the diverged paths, Ashley notices a signpost on the connection point between the two paths. On the arrow pointing down the right path, the sign said "Imprisonment" whereas the path that went to the left had a sign that said "Freedom."
Annoyed with such an important decision, Ashley sat down in front of the sign and closed her emerald green eyes. She could hear the leaves rustle in the wind, she could hear the flow of grass, she could smell the scent of the flowers, and feel the cool autumn breeze touch her face gently. Although for once in her life, Ashley was at peace with herself, but she corrupted her mind once more. The thought of home rushed back into her, the missing hole in her senses, the missing taste of hier mother's famous pie before she had passed away. Remembering her mother, and their happy memories together, made her understand the point of the two paths in front of her. Ashley was not faced with the decision of simply leaving her hometown and picking either the right or the left path which signs had made no sense before, Ashley was faced with the choice to move on from her mother's demise all those years ago.
Ashley stood up and looked towards the sky, a deep orange was soon dissolving to a pink/purple shade, and the setting sun rested behind the leaves of the path titled "Freedom." She knew what she was to do, and began to walk down the path of freedom, her tear drops tracing her path in the dirt beneath her as she walked. Ashley soon came across a second fork in the road, one path much smaller than the main path, with a sign marked "DO NOT ENTER" on the gate. A small laugh emerged form the tears as Ashley tore the sign down, removed the fence completely, and walked up the path to a hill overlooking the ocean on the other side, which is where the other path would have lead her, the dead end which would symbolize the fact that her life was going nowhere, and that Ashley would have to turn back home. At least, that's what Ashley thought. She walked up to the lone tree on the hill and looked around the base of the trunk until she found the marking "R.I.P. Mother" carved into the tree. Pulling a knife from her pocket, she scratched out all of the letters and words that she put into the tree many years ago, almost screaming through the tears endlessly flowing from her eyes. Ashley gasped for air as she pulled a match from her pocket, lit it, and began to set various leaves and branches on the tree, on fire. "I'm sorry mother..." Ashley said with her remaining breaths, again gasping for air as she hoped she could set the whole tree on fire before she had to leave, but being in this place was too much for her. Ashley walked back down the path, and continued down the path of freedom, never looking back.
The last paragraph is so good, i really like the way you made the one path a dead end and related the path to life.I made the one line in bold because i didn't really understand it, so just look it over, otherwise i really liked it!
- Mikayla
i agree with mikayla when she said your last paragraph is very strong, i like how the character returns back to the tree:) alexis cortese
your last paragraph is so strong! i love it, it shows him growing up and making choices for himself now. its a great story line, good job. love the imagery - jenna lamparski
I thought that this was a really great story. It wasn't cliched. He didn't go down the path and find freedom. Good job.- Hannah Morier
I like how he creates his own future he thinks about what he wants and then chooses his own future as soon as he choose a path he knew what he was going to do -Nick McDonnell
-I love this story, its really deep and I can relate to it. It definitely made me picture what he was seeing and feel what he was feeling! -Kelsey Evans
- I like it. I like it a lot. I think that Mikayla's bolded text made perfect sense...it's a thought. If anything, just put it into italics. If you wanted to explain why people didn't like him, maybe it would clear up other peoples' confusion. Besides that, fabulous job. -Maggie
- I love this story. Its interesting and compelling and I loved the development. -Lisa Trova